Big Long Ramble...
I´m going to try and put down a few things ¨on paper¨ that I have been thinking a lot about and I wonder if I have ¨learned¨. However, that word itself makes me a little uncomfortable, because it implies that these thoughts and reflections are in some way Correct and Right, instead of simply observations or conclusions where I happen to find myself right now and which may be of use for other people in order to help them reflect. In any case…The last book that I read (Mountains Beyond Mountains) really jumpstarted me to think about these things again and because my thoughts were a little jumbled I thought that I would write them down to see if I could get them organized appropriately (really, this is more for my benefit than for yours... sorry).
I think that what I have been thinking is really very simple, it’s focus is on three things: Kindness, Compassion, and Judgment. The first two are ways in which we can actualize LOVE, which I really think is the end goal or purpose of life. It is what God calls us all to do (¨Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and your neighbor as yourself¨), it is what we universally acknowledge is the most fulfilling aspect of life: the basis for relationships and friendships. Love is something that is even scientifically recognized as necessary for survival of human being; although it is generally called attachment or affect in scientific lingo. The third, judgment, I include here because it seems to be directly opposed to the 1st two and is (in my opinion) the biggest criticism of Christianity in my generation (and I am struggling to find my personal philosophy of life, which includes almost an entire life immersed in traditional evangelical Christianity).
Therefore: 1) Kindness 2) Compassion 3) Judgment
Kindness
Well, I start here because it is perhaps the foundation of the other two and it is going to be by far the least controversial. By kindness, I do not mean ¨merely¨ a nice word, or a smile, or refraining from being ¨not-nice.¨ By kindness, I refer to the constant attempt to treat another person in the best way. I think that it is the simplest and perhaps the most effective way of beginning to love one another. In almost any circumstance, no matter how complicated, we can identify what would be a kind response or a kind way to deal with a person.
I guess I would say that kindness is simply love actualized in everyday life. Yet, I often go through entire days without intentionally being kind to anyone. This can include actively helping someone out, being encouraging, allowing someone to take my seat, or simply not saying the cleverly phrased negative statement that so quickly pops into my head in order to put my antagonist in his place. Kindness – seems so simple, but I think that it can (and probably should) be a life-long pursuit.
Compassion
Compassion in my vernacular is recognizing and feeling someone else’s need or pain. Additionally, it is reacting and doing something in order to meet that need or offer comfort; however, it is not only those things. I believe that compassion is also a mindset that needs to be developed intentionally, as well as something that simply MOVES someone spontaneously.
First things first. I like the phrase: She was ¨moved by compassion.¨ Here the language is of action. Compassion has actually succeeded in MOVING her! The sight or thought of the pain or the hurt or whatever it was, evoked something so strong that movement, an action was required! I think that this type of compassion is something incredibly valuable and in some ways necessary. Let me continue… I´ll come back and explain.
Now, I want to add in the concept that Paul Farmer in ¨Mountains Beyond Mountains¨ calls the O for the P. He describes it quite differently, but I´m going to do it like this. What is it that causes someone to be moved by compassion? Pain, suffering, hurt, injustice, etc. O for the P is the idea that God (and therefore we should be as well) is intensely interested in the plight of those who are hurt and suffering – the orphans and widows (if you will), the little vulnerable children, the poor in Africa (and Ecuador) and the poor next door, the depressed, the abused, the homeless, and the lonely. Option for the Poor.
The idea goes like this: Jesus was most concerned for the ¨sick¨, not for the healthy, and paid much more attention to the outcasts and downcast of society (well, not exactly true, but almost all of the attention he gave to the rich and powerful… and religious was criticism and calls to repent and change!). I don´t ask you to believe me in this… check it out… see if this appears true after reading through the gospels looking for it. Therefore, we should not go through life waiting for pictures of kids dying in AIDS in Africa to move us with compassion, but rather we should take a couple steps toward pain and hurt wherever we may find that and then allow compassion to move us and shape our life!
I said that this is maybe necessary for ALL of us. What did I mean? I think (I don´t come up with all of these ideas myself… I think I get this one from Rob Bell) that it may be just as necessary for people to offer help to others and experience the reward of that giving as it is for someone who is struggling to receive the gift. ALSO, (and I feel very strongly about this) that one who believes that he-she is the one giving should also be very, very open to receive and to learn from those to whom he-she is ¨giving¨. In my experience, I have learned/received so much more than I have given, even as I have been the official ¨Giver/Helper¨ (not just in Ecuador, but in Chicago and Grand Rapids too).
One last thing. I think that often this O for the P is rejected for two reasons.
1) It sounds like a kid living in a South American country in a dirt house is heaping guilt on you because you have a dishwasher.
I don’t want you to feel guilty. I don´t think that you necessarily need to feel guilty. However, I do think that we need to stop and evaluate what we are doing, why we are doing and what we could and should be doing! I think that I am probably much LESS compassionate that I should be and much less compassionate and living a much weaker O for the P than many people with the dishwasher! Yet, let´s not forget how many billions of people are lonely, how many billions are hungry, and how many people down the road have a need that we have never seen, because we have never taken the time to look down that road!
Judgment
Hmmm… how to start this one. How about with an apology?
I`m sorry, I know that not everyone thinks about Christians this way. It is not a universal feeling and I want to recognize that. Also, I do not mean to say that Christians are not amazingly loving and kind as well. 90% of all the amazing people I know are Christians!
Anecdote:
I asked a good friend of mine (one of the kindest people I have ever met, who highly influenced the first part of this writing), who grew up in an entirely unreligious family and is still totally unconnected to any religion, what she thought of me… as someone who openly expressed faith in Christ Jesus. She delicately told me a story, but in the end she said this: “I thought that everyone [who was a Christian] would hate me.”
That is the most common opinion that I have heard from the non-Christian young adults that I have gotten to know over the past 2 years (in Chicago and the other people from the US that live here in Ecuador). Can you imagine that?
Christianity = Hate! (Do we realize that this image exists out there? And is fairly widespread!!)
Here is a passage from “Blue Like Jazz”, “The problem with Christian community was that we had ethics, we had rules and laws and principles to judge each other against. There was love in Christian community but it was conditional love. Sure we called it unconditional, but it wasn’t… Christianity was always right: we were always looking down on everybody else…. It felt, to me, as wrong as sin.” Later he writes, “I was tired of biblical ethic being used as a tool to judge people rather than heal them.”
I know this sounds quite harsh. Before rejecting it, before saying, “but we don’t judge people” … or “but it says that is wrong in the Bible.” Please, just read the rest of this with an OPEN mind. That means… stop right now and decide, “Am I reading the rest of this looking for reasons to reject it? or am I looking for how it might be true?”
Here is the thing. I grew up thinking that Christians were good people and non-Christians were not good people. I grew up believing that Christian values were good values and non-Christian values were bad values. I believed that Christians did good things, and… etc. The problem is not exactly in the first half, “ Christians – Good”. The problem is in the second half, “Non-Christian – Bad”. And I don’t think that statement was ever said, it was probably not even really intended, but it was communicated to me and it stuck.
I thought that everything good and perfect thing was found in the Bible. Great. But I also believed somewhere down deep, without even thinking about it, that nothing good existed outside of the Bible. I believed that my Christian friends and the families at my church were good people. Great. But I also thought that my friends who were not Christians could never really be that good of friends… I thought that I had to maintain a certain distance so that I wasn’t somehow “corrupted”… so that there poor values did not rub off on me.
However, I have discovered that Christians are not so wonderfully adept at doing this so that the other half doesn’t notice what we are doing! The so-called (and therefore excluded) group of non-Christians does notice that we as Christians tend to not include them in the important things or we tend to include them, but with a very poorly hidden ulterior motive of making them one of US. Have we ever stopped to consider how we like it when someone interacts with us with the almost singular purpose of changing us? Or hoping to convince us to join them in whatever it is they are doing? (even if it is “good”… think those people that try to get you to Sponsor a Child).
I do not want to accuse anyone. I simply observed in myself a few things that surprised me. One was that I was a little shocked to see people that did not have a “faith” who were extremely kind, who were extremely moral, and who were dedicating their lives to helping people. I saw all sorts of Christ-like actions being performed by people who did not believe in Christ… or God, or Allah, or any of those other big god ideas. The second thing that kind of shocked me was that as I started to get to know these people, as I started to allow them into my life on a deeper level, I found them to be very good friends. They cared about me, they supported me, they even challenged me (even in my faith that they did not share!). I was amazed that these non-christians, these people that I had kind of kept myself separate from had shown themselves to be everything that I had imagined only Christians to be.
Now… I am not saying that we throw Christianity out. I just know that personally… I am going to stop worrying so much whether other people are Christians or not. I am going to focus all my energy on actualizing love (starting by being kind and trying to live with an O for the P) and being ready to accept and learn from everyone… looking for truth and beauty wherever it is found…
posted by Steve @ 8:07 AM
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