A(n amazing) Belated Birthday
Something that I have been pondering since I arrived here in Ecuador is how to qualify ¨Quality of Life¨. Many times I read or hear that someone´s ¨quality of life¨ has been improved or that the ¨quality of life¨ of people in an entire country is better compared to a certain amount of years ago. Mainly these things are related to a higher income, more educational opportunities, or better access to healthcare.
As many of you are aware, I am a big critic of using one´s income to rate the quality of one´s life, while on the other hand, I am a huge proponent for more (and more equal) education and health services. Yet, I have observed here there is something to be said for simply having more money (these people make $7 a day on average... for their entire family). And education and healthcare are not the end-all goals of life, as I have met many super content illiterate people who live almost a lifetime away from a real medical facility.
The one barometer that I have found to be extremely constant related to people´s quality of life is the quality of their relationships with their family and their friends. In the end, we decide whether our life is ¨good¨ by (many times unconciously)evaluating the people who love us and who we love. Are we surrounded by people who love and support us? Who laugh with us and make us laugh? Do we have mothers, fathers (or their surrogates) who were always in front, behind, or beside us regardless of what happened? Do we have friends that we can count on to jump in front of that train when it bears down on us... will we do the same for them?
These, I believe, are the correct questions to ask ourselves when we rank the quality of our own lives (or think of others´). These are the thing in which we should think when we are unsatisfied with where we are at or what we are doing... when we say ¨there should be something MORE than this!?¨
Anyway... I was reminded of how much QUALITY my life possesses as my family and friends flooded me with letters and pictures and even a few packages for my birthday this year! Wow. Thanks.
Anyway, as I continue in my search for the Divine, the Creator, the Purpose of Life and the Original Love... I am determined to remember that end is not the goal in this life, but rather the journey itself is what is to be enjoyed. AND, although beautiful places and crazy experiences are great, the most valuable and joy-giving aspect of this journey are the companions with whom one shares those moments and places and belly-laughs and tears.
To my companions: I am forever grateful that our paths have crossed and our journeys are intertwined.
A long week
I am ALMOST back home after more than a week of traveling-working. The domestic violence conference went fairly well, although I don`t know if it lived up to expectations.
I presented a talk on masculinity and violence for about 45 minutes (which I was not super comfortable with) and then participated in a round table talking about the circle of violence and answering questions (I thought that I did much better in that one... I had more experience on the topics and it was a more comfortable position for me).
Then, I co-facilitated two afternoons of workshops with high schools boys about how to discover what it means to be a man. Not having sex, beating people up, drinking and mistreating women... but a real man. It was interesting... sometimes fun and sometimes frustrating.
A few of the difficulties facing women here:
- One of the few men that the organization found to present during the conference showed his ignorance by saying, ¨women are
practically equal to men.¨
- The group of 15 teenagers unanymously agreed that if a girl invites a guy into her room (especially if they are dating) then she is
obligated to have sex with him. Sort of like an unwritten contract.
- The nun in charge of the Catholic school where most of the kids who participated in the conference attend, repeatedly made comments that undermined women´s rights in favor of antiquated and misinformed interpretations of the biblical roles of women (which are a huge part of the cause of interfamiliar violence here in Ecuador).
I also hung out with about 4 or 5 of my best Peace Corps friends who also came to the conference to watch-learn, but not present (one other volunteer presented). We had delicious Italian food and then went salsa dancing on my birthday.
The last few days have been interesting as I have tried to make it home. On Sunday night, I took a 10 hour bus ride into Quito, the capital, to find out that I couldn´t make it the rest of the way home (another 5 hours) because of a Paro. Paro´s are when communities or unions block the highway with fires and other roadblocks in order to force the authorities to talk and deal with them. Since there are so few alternate routes available in Ecuador due to the mountains, it is relatively easy for a small group of people to completely isolate a large area of the country. (A paro in a different part of the country elongated one section of my trip down to the conference from an 8 hour bus ride to a 12 hour one).
I was stuck in Quito for the day... then delayed an extra 2 hours this morning as I traveled to Ibarra (still 1.5 from my town). Then, after I did some shopping (I don`t have any food waiting for me in my house), I went to catch the last bus to my town. However, when I got to the bus station, I was informed that the bus simply wasn´t going today. No excuses or explanation. Just not going. Normally, I would catch another bus that goes close to my town and then walk another hour, but today I had too much food to carry and I wouldn´t have made it. So, I am here in Ibarra until tomorrow.
Anyway... lots of traveling, lots of mala suerte (bad luck), but also a lot of fun and I should be able to make it home tomorrow.
Cell phones, illiteracy, and battering
First... I have a cell phone that the Peace Corps gave me for my ¨Safety and Security¨ but it also happens to be able to receive calls from the U.S. Who would have thought that I would have a cell phone here... not me.
Here is how you can call... 011-593-9-192-7680.
I am excited about my Christmas plans. I am going to visit a friend of mine that lives on an island off of the coast in the Pacific. It is only a short boat ride to it, but apparently there are 0 cars and the beach is amazing. It will definitly be a very different Christmas than the one that I am used to... but I am still going to get some chocolate covered peanuts to share with my friend on Christmas eve (like we do at my house). My strategy on holidays or other big days (like the Michigan-Ohio State game) is to get so excited about what I am doing that is hard for the feelings of sadness to break through... it is not a perfect strategy, but it´s what I´m working on.
What to tell all of you?
I am now starting to teach about 7 kids to read. The school system here is so inconsistent (and overall... poor) that it continually shocks me. I walk for an hour to a community called Cabuyal on Thursday morning to work in a school of 25 kids (1st through 7th grade). About half of the kids (7 of 15) in 4th,5th,6th, and 7th grade don´t even know their alphabet. So sad.
On the other hand, Daniel, a 16 year-old that comes over to my house almost every evening, now has beaten me in chess 2 nights in a row. I taught him how to play about a month and a half ago and now he is beating me. (Don´t worry, I am about to put all of my mental prowess to bear on this problem... but if anyone wants to find a book on chess strategy that is in Spanish and send it to me... I would love to give it to Daniel - after I read it myself!).
Hope to put up some more pictures the next time that I use a computer! Maybe later this week. I am going to be in a big city this next week helping to give a three day seminar on Domestic Violence. It is a big challenge for me, but I am excited. The sad thing is that this organization is 14 hours away from me and really can´t find many Ecuadorian men to support it. There is just very little cultural understanding that it is bad to mistreat women.
